The shameless city 

1

I went into a grocery store to buy eggs (humm, I’ve been quite quitting dairy products but eggs). A block from the house there is one that has good promotion: 55 pesos for 30 eggs. Well on the Cordova avenue they even have some better promotions: 50 pesos. But I’m not walking all the way down there to save 5 pesos. You know, it’s now about buying the cheapest thing but about circulating money to good and right people. The grocery store I went is run by a Peruvian family, and I see everyday the son of that family, a lad, working hard to move vegetables on the shelf. Positive and bright smile has he, but must’ve been at school on his age, perhaps?

Today when I stepped in the grocery store, the lad wasn’t present. Her mum, aged like 60, was alone managing the store. I was to pay for 30 eggs, paying 100 pesos. I expected to have 45 pesos of change, but I got only 40 back. I mentioned her that there is a promotion saying that it is 55 pesos for 30 eggs. She came out from the counter then looked at the promotion sign. Sure, it said 55 pesos. She went back to the counter saying, that the 30 eggs I bought was 60 because it is brown colour. Only white eggs are for the promotion. I know there is no quality difference between brown and white eggs, just the breed chicken differs. Such a shame that this colour thing even became embedded to the food market and to the price. 

Anyway, if she just had admitted that she miscounted the price, she wouldn’t have sold her dignity for 5 pesos. 

2

I was walking on the Santa Fe avenue with my friend who just had arrived to Buenos Aires for the vacation. For him to have Sube transportation card, we entered one kiosco for the card. It was a ma’am with more than 65 ages, and she just told us that she just opened that kiosco in business. We were the first buyers among the other first buyers. We asked if she had Sube card, then she said,

– The card costs 40, but you can buy one with 60 pesos which has 20 pesos recharged in it.

I’ve told that a genuine smile of an old woman never can be a fake. So we bought it one with 20 pesos recharged. 

We went to Sutbe metro station. We tried the card. The change was in 0. We went to the metro ticket booth. They told us that the transportation card costs around 15 to 20. 

Another person just sold her dignity off. So is it a lesson by now that in economic crisis the human dignifity doesn’t really matter? It would be an hipocratic sentence that this country is Catholic and is where the current the Pope from. But the worst thing about this is that people don’t know that when they sell their dignity, eventually they need to buy one before they die, since every human being wants to die with dignity. But listen, old people, by the time you want to buy the dignity you sold off for few pennies, there won’t be any for you to be buried with. 

Or it is us, foreigners who recently moved, that are stupid? Maybe ignorance is the worse sin than committing sin with conscience. So, it should be all my fault.

3

A reikist was posing a twisting back yoga posture. Cracking the spine made the sensation that the posture would be erect. Then later he asked me,

– I want you to blow me off, if you’d like.

– I respect of you being honest and direct, but, no thank you.

There are people who try to live in dramas making intentional misunderstanding through whatever method of communication. I really respect those who don’t do so, being honest and direct, not about themselves but about the possible act and future direction. But still, why you should think that I might want to blow you off?

4

Sunday became my favorite day again. And I feel like I’m the lucky guy. 

I used to miss the days of Santiago, Chile. I had my family that I could bother continuously on Sundays. I called my friends 11 o’clock in the morning to wake them up, then asked them to have a brunch with me. They never missed to show up. Being in Buenos Aires as a new comer means that I’ve put aside that family on the side for my own career and study. For focusing on my personal gain, I should have gotten a punishment that I spend independent time on Sundays. But it has changed, of course, with time. 

Walking around with my house mate until the plaza Francia. Stopping by a friend’s house to have some glasses of whiskey. Going to grocery shopping to COTO to enjoy the weekend discount with credit card (Well today the cashier seemed as beginner that she didn’t give my the discount I deserved. I know, I should have reclaimed, but then what about her pride? Yes, I know, ignorance is worse than committing sin knowing about it). Cooking dinner at my favorite couple’s house, having a wine and conversating. Enjoying a good movie all night long in my bed. Expecting tomorow’s routine: gym, further investigation, cooking for meals and meeting new people. I’m going to read a romantic poem tomorrow. 

Stories get to realize. And mostly importantly they get to repeat. My past days with regrets and worries were forgotten, for now me being happy. They earned no such dignity of existing. The hope of better tomorrow blinds the piled bricks of memory. There comes the shame of being. There comes the shame of living. If we just forget everything daily, it would be better. Won’t we develop ourselves then? Mind yourself asking it, since we anyway don’t develop ourselves from the past as like your pity theory. It we were, human race wouldn’t have been such a waste and destructive.

5

So I praise the old women who sold off their dignity before entering their coffin. I praise the sexually honest guy asking and poking around so he might get what he wants. Because maybe I know in deep down that those aspects of shame emerge from my own understating of myself, and this teaches me that I’m also to be shameless. 

6

We are all shameless. So mind yourself please of human dignity, which never existed from the beginning. Don’t fool yourself of virtue that hasn’t existed. You are just living in the genuine human city: the shameless city. 

Someone might say that we are going back to the Adam and Eve’s era where everyone was shameless. Oh, please listen yourself. There’s no one in that paradise in this era. We are living in our own paradise, which is the shameless. Welcome to the paradise. Welcome to Buenos Aires. 

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