Recoleta Cultural Centre has collected a lot of sensual art pieces on its wall. So sensational, maybe too much, that some walls have put screen with cuasi-gay porns; shirtless boys dancing and lying down with poses. I arrived late to the event where wine was limitlessly being served. When I got there, the screens were shuting down. The walls were losing its light of projector beam. Youngesters on the patio were finishing up their wine glass or beer bottle. Trees were turning red and purple with cigarette smog and lousiness. I stepped in to patio, and Melissa saluted me. She was with two other companies; Julio and Victor.
Since the event was closing down, we left the Recoleta Cultural Centre heading to a bar to grab more wine glasses. On the way I was told that Victor is an author, writing some publications and participating in an literature club. He was a 70-years-old man, with green eyes and grey hair. His face has been cut by many deep wrinkles. When one becomes at the age 70, he knows how to listen. One becomes to listen no matter how much the distractions are around. I was glad that I could meet someone to talk with seeing through his eyes. Such a respect that I encountered, so I tried to turn the respect back to him by all means.
The wine glasses were running on the table. We were on the street where people were passing by. But we would see no one, but the eyes above the table. Right next to the Recoleta cemetery, which is old and antique, stood up a shopping mall which is new and modern. Between this weird combination we sat, not knowing whether to mourn the death of history or to celebrate the vivid modernity.
– We used to listen the silence. Around too many sounds we stand and we try to escape from this lousiness. When one is in the mountain, or in the forest, he thinks that he is in absolute silence. But he is wrong again, in that the silence is composed with sounds; which we no more are able to listen for they are not to be heard in the city life. We already forgot to listen those sounds of forest. It is a big irony that silence is a sum of forgotten lousiness; the sounds of rocks, trees, birds and moss.
Victor made this balance on all the conversation we shared. When we talked about a noise he converted it into a silence. When we talked about a silence, he converted it into a sound. He made me realize that those two are the same one during the whole conversation. I felt that I was still a just young boy making some statements which could have made with more thoughts and corrections. For example, I was stating,
– I get bothered when people don’t answer the phone call. Some of my friends are always with phone, checking Instagram, Facebook, Whatsapp and Twitter. But when I call them, they don’t pick up. They just ignore it. There is no more explanation than that they ignore it since they are always fixing their eyes on the phone screen. Maybe such distraction they are around, a phone call is just a meaningless notification for them. I don’t use nor see my phone when I’m around with people, just like this moment. Some people put their phone on the table and constantly look at them to see the notification it gives on the locked screen. I would say it is a big disrespect that one can deliver.
– Yes, it is a big disrespect. But it can be your reflection of what it is molesting you. I used to get bothered a lot when my friends were smoking weeds or doing cocaine around me. I dont believe that people need some addiction to reach a certain point of joy. Whatever addiction it is; marihuana, cocaine, alcohol, gaming or phone, works exactly same. They believe that those give them a joy that they don’t reach when they are sober. But it is an immature excuses that they fool themselves through. It’s all about how you believe. It’s all about how you train to think. But then I realized that it bothered me because I had such emotional attachment reflecting on myself. After I realized that, I couldn’t care more about them doing it, because it’s their problem not mine. I don’t have them, since they are completely different individuals away from me. I became to feel free having a social and emotional link with them.
– It is, yes, my issue of respect and disrespect. I have this emotional attachment of being respectful so I force others to do so as well, so when they don’t do such things that I think they should as a respect, I get molested. Yes, I should not make an adjustment on them but on myself only because it’s my emotional attachment problem not theirs. But sometimes, we correct and criticize each other so that we can be better person, don’t we? I know it’s also an immature reflection in that we don’t have any right to correct others by our own perspective, otherwise it would be an emotional violence. But still, when I think being respectful is important in a humane dignity, shouldn’t we mentioned them even knowing that the bothersome comes from my own reflection of myself?
– Yes, there are values that we need to keep and practice often. You can mention that to your friends and you practice your own value. You don’t have to be upset for them not practicing it. Maybe you need to empty your space in the relationship with them, since maybe other people can be occupy your space in the relationship hand they get to be better person. Life is a such a short lightening, just like a match. When it fires, it wouldn’t last long. If it happens often that you get upset with your friends for the same conflict, maybe it is the time for you to walk away from such wasting relationship. Yes, there are always things that you can learn from whomever your friends are. But as well there are so many other people you can learn from them. You are a young person, so while you can, don’t waste your emotional energy on wrong people. It is you who hold such attachment, not them. It is you who can change, not them.
And the conversation became to reach to mention the relationship of love. He quoted that even the friendship is a form of loving relationship, just that we don’t go under the sheet together. Friends love one another, just as in the loving relationship. Victor asked me that I’m in loving relationship, then I replied that I’m not. He continued;
– Imagine that you have a dog. When your dog dies, what will you do? It’s simple. You need to get another dog. You have all the equipments for the dog; the dog shelter, the dog food, the dog toys and most importantly, your caring to the dog. When you don’t have a dog to give your care and love, you lose the caring and love to give. It’s all about giving love no matter what. You should be always in a relationship, avoiding the toxic and wasting ones. It is the only way that you practice love, enhancing your capacity to love. Cuddling and caring become better with practice. Respecting others become better with practice. You should be in this practice every moment of your life to become a better person. You will become a bigger hearted person, and that’s what matters.
Sincerely after this conversation I felt confident about being back in a relationship again. The conversation with Victor went along more hours. We talked about personal origin which is psychological. Social responsability after having children, not as our own extraction of possibility but as totally distintive individuals to respect. And etc.
It was after midnight that we left the table. We walked between the cemetery and the shopping mall, one’s darkness absorbing the other’s brightness. We walked on that balance. On the Las Heras Avenue, we said good byes. The good-bye-hug was intense and Victor gave me a kiss on my cheek, as a beautiful argentine custom even between males. I kissed back the author’s cheek, with love, with friendship, and with my best respect. It was a cheek with aged wrinkles, but through them the aged wine was running. And I loved to kiss to that wine of personal realization.