We all are in search of similarity that is noted throughout all the others. This similarity can be born from a physical appearance, a cultural/educational background or nationality, a gender and sexuality, or most importantly, from a man-made imagination. whatever its birthplace would be, this mental magnetic works to pull the opposite and to outpush its similarity. Quite odd it is, since in the human interaction the sparks begin when two Ss meet or when two Ns do.
In this post the examination of the difference in human interaction comes from an hipothesis that divides two different minds set, and the spider net that tangles between the two. One mind set is called the past-oriented, and the other is called the future-oriented. The past-oriented mind is a structure where personal memories are as poles to support the ceiling. The more memories they create, the structure becomes stronger and higher. So to exercise their confidence, they cling to past memories of human interaction (of friends, family, colleagues and etc for example). Their actions become more vibrant and simultaneous, for their net is widespread to all directions which permits an ever-changing or ever-shaping environment. On the contrary, the future-oriented mind is a structure where strategies are as poles to stand up from the ground. The more strategies of future they plan, the more safety they feel. So to exercise their confidence, they cling to plan-making and how to realise those plan into reality. Their actions are defined to be firm and settling, as long as they do not depend on unachievable variables.
Of course, no one is defined to have an extreme side of these two different minds. One always contains both minds, but the differentiation emerges when s/he tends to exercise one mind more frequently than the other. In the middle ground between those two poles exists the present, where two different minds interact and communicate each other, sharing memories and strategies altogether. It is easily said when to put a daily example: Let’s make a plan for tonight to drink a beer, and in the group we have P (the past-oriented mind exerciser) and F (the future-oriented mind exerciser). They both get out from the work at 5pm so they planned to meet up at 7pm at F’s house. At 6:20 P was on the way to the F’s house but he encountered his two bestfriends and they invited P to go with them to have a beer around. P texted to F saying that something came up so he needs to cancel the drink plan with P. P’s mind is cling to the good memories that he shared with his bestfriends so he chose to have that sensation again based on his memory, while F’s mind is cling to the given plan which has made him refuse other plans that came out until P canceled. Does this sound familiar?
Surely, this can be put in different matrix, saying one respects more (written and fixed) plan while the other respects more (verbal and changeable) interaction. This way of thinking is already been discussed comparing two different social confidence approaches that are observed in occidental and oriental countries: in occidental way is to create a concrete contract with fixed words. It takes time but the direction and responsibility would be fixed, while in oriental way is to interact verbally and simultaneously to reach an agreement and understand that the direction and responsibility are always dependent on changing environment. They are brief and general observations, letting many exceptions counterprove themselves, but these obersvations still are valid for us to think how we can deal with those two different minds. And still, even though we put this social confidence as the dividing category, it comes from how the confidence constructed: one constructs its confidence based one its past relating with the others so just verbal interaction would be alright since this has been proved to be enough. The other constructs its confidence based on avoiding possible conflict with others so they prefer written and fixed interaction so to depict a proper responsability on one’s word and action.
The validation of categorization for two different mindsets by timeline outlays on the picture. There is a study and a discourse made in TED TALK as well, giving opinion that the language structure of how it perceives time affects our behaviour of saving money and interacting with others, pointing out two examples: of German language where the timeline description is variously diversified and of Chinese langue where there is no time difference in its grammar(for example the word ‘go’ is used same in the past sentence, present sentence and future sentence in Chinese).
Then, after examining this hipothesis, can we say that P gets along with other Ps than with Fs, and the other way around also? If we all are in search of similarity, we might conclude that the answer for this question is yes. But as two magnetics attract the opposite, the answer can be also no. I define myself as a person with the future-oriented mindset person, planning for my next moves and possible career. And I realised that maybe in Buenos Aires I experience to encounter with many past-minded people. Maybe its economic and political uncertainty of many past years has created how people think and interact. I should admit that for me this interaction does not work as magnetics. Yes, I am attracted to this difference since it makes me think and understand more of the difference.
But I am also one of those who are in search of similiarity.