Paul’s farewell and me being awake with eyes wide open

Paul organised his farewell party at The Steve (El Salvador 4968, Palermo). To be frank, I liked the atmosphere of the bar, but I should admit that it was quite pricy. I just had three cola light so for me it wasn’t bit much, but I could imagine that it was over the expectation for the ones who drank waving beers. So this was the Paul’s farewell. I am genuinely happy for him that he got a job in Google and ready to move back to United States. Meeting up and saying goodbye are the very part of one’s life; so we all were mature enough to have a funeral with laughs instead of tears. Beers were served to make some tipsy. Conversations were aimed to the past for us to recall what we had with Paul. And I realised that I was awake: I was like the very meerkat on the wall decoration. I was with my widely opened eyes. I was the one who saw through myself, to deepen myself from the confusing past and present. I was the observant of the others around. And all these quite scared me.

What I learnt today could be summurized as below:

  1. Now it has been a month that my lips and tongue haven’t touched any drops of alcohol. I found it quite easy just not to drink at all, and I’m going to persue this goal further. Having a sober mind makes me reach to the concentration mode: actually now I find it easy to listen, to make an eye contact, and to think of myself and of others but away from judgement.
  2. I substituted alcohol to coca-cola beverage, but today, I changed it from coca light to soda water. What mattered was the fresh sensation when the gas was introducing to organ, not the alcohol itself alone (when to think of beer example). It was the habit that I could have vanished, and I am on the track to do so.
  3.  One feels secured when one is inside a social bubble. One also can move around to other social bubbles, but those bubbles are anyway bubbles. Meeting new people is grant, but being in a bubble isn’t very comforting for me. I used to step aside and be observant of those bubbles around me, taking current conversations into consideration: all these conversations are linked to the very self of the talker, the cultural background and the past or future desicion of what he or she is going to do in few months for example.
  4. How information diffueses is related to the amount of care one has toward the content. It was repetitive since one keeps telling the same stories over again to different bubbles aside.

Sincerely I met lots of interesting people at Paul’s farewell. But the wearisomeness conquered me at some point that I couldn’t do more but giving goodbye hugs to everyone then left. On the way back home, I decided to give one more chance to myself so I headed to another house where my italian friends are habitating. I observed the new generation that arrived to Buenos Aires city, and the youth was filled with alcohol, drugs, music and dance. I climbed up the terrace and observed them one by one: all came to Buenos Aires with high expectation of youth and adventure, then later they all will leave this city with memories, just as Paul had as in here. Youth easily gets fooled by city lights, creating romantic stories and getting oneself lost in the way. But how grateful this youth is! Until being lost can be romantised under the name of youth itself: and yet, it makes sense after all that one should lose oneself climbing up the mountain. If one climbs up only steping the man-made routes, he or she only would know the path not the mountain as a whole. If one steps every stones of the mountain being lost, eventually when he or she reaches the summit he or she understands the mountain as a whole, or at least theoretically.

I was at the terrace of my friends’ house. The location is different but me being there with others stayed same. I was again observing different bubbles, so I gave them another goodbye hugs and left. Today was Paul’s farewell, but it seemed like that I was giving all of them goodbyes. Was I disrespectful then, not waiting until Paul could be the one who gives goodbye at last?

Back to the point, Meeting up and saying goodbye are the very part of one’s life: I surely knew that there won’t be any farewell for me when I leave.

One thought on “Paul’s farewell and me being awake with eyes wide open

  1. Pingback: How to distinguish friendship and love – Kindness bears kindness

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