How to be stood up in a massive urban population 

1. Having people of little credibility around all the time. They plan to do something with you, and when the time comes and something more interesting comes up they vanish leaving you behind. It just shows that you weren’t their priority from the beginning.

2. Believing yourself that you are a still nice person putting them in your priority. You cannot discharge them from your life because it seems not right and merciless. You want to maintain this toxic relationship with them. There is a certain difference between being nice and being taken advantage of. A truly nice person tries to be nice even knowing that he or she is being taken advantage of. You’d try to be that one since it’s what the altruistic society has taught you.

3. Having moral principles that guarantee the direct relation between words and actions, in a social group where words are made of ashes and actions of passionate fire. In those groups such connection creates only a dynamite that explodes its visual impact, which is condemned to be uneducated.

4. Dreaming that the youth lasts forever so having toxic relationships and non-credibility-based friendships can be worth spending since everything in youth would be perceived beautiful in the future. Generally these are those who mostly spend their adulthood regreting the past and showing their mouth-piercings of the ‘what if’ questions.

5. Not calculating numbers and benefits that you can suck out from others. You should count benefits because it’s what adults do. If you don’t, you’d be easily stood up because they only find you when you need them, not the other way around.

6. Treating people humanely. They are humans as so they should be treated as such. You’d realise that you’d the only one doing it. Others, on the contrary, treat women, coloured people, the young and the old, and sexual minorities as an inferior beings.

7. Being puntual. Others never would be on time, since being late is an important ritual for them to show how important they are to you as you should wait them stood until their arrival.

These are probably approximated strategies not to be stood up, and I’d like to be stood up rather than giving others empty words as many of them do to me. So, today I got stood up again, by the appointment they made. I was on my bicycle, so instead of getting annoyed by the empty words I had gotten, I decided to paddle a bit further. Then I saw the monument glancing off. Maybe I just need not to concentrate on those empty words, since things that annoy me are the ones having dominance over me. I need to be free from this dominance and to decolonise myself.


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