Let me introduce myself: I’m a modern monk. I’m a part of solution of modern distraction. I’m whom I’m to be; the desire, the wish and the being combined. Yes, I have my own limitation; that I’m not broadening myself to collective level which I don’t act in it, rather staying in an individual enlightenment as possible. I just want to be a living example, sponging experiences around.
I met a fortune teller today in a bar. She came with my deer singer. We sat on the table located outdoor, since the moon was full and the wind was gaging its horse. We exchanged interesting questions of life and identity. And at some point, we talked about this carta natal, and she was going to examine my life path.
I still remember the first time I confronted this kind of fortune teller in front of me, looking through me with open eyes. I don’t remember much of what he told me then, but just one sentence hammered me strong; He told me that my life is a gold medal, uncommon to observe, that I don’t really need to worry of my life in advance. I thought that he told me as I wanted to hear since I was a little boy back then, and also, since in the lunar calender my birthday doesn’t repeat every year. Counting in lunar calendar, many common years I don’t have a birthday since I was born in a gap day; just as in solar calender, the 29th of February doesn’t repeat every year. He told me to live around the water since I have lots of fire inside me, to purify and make balance of my energy. He actually recommended to me to live in Japan or in United Kingdom; where all surroundings are water. To be firm for myself while being tender for others also was his advice. I took those advices as a teachers’ word rather than as a master’s insight.
The second time was by a Buddhist monk. He basically said the same thing.
And today, she told me that I have more the element of earth than of fire. I myself could see that on the graph where many red triangles concentrated and fixed. She told me that those red colours represent my struggles and conflicts, in that I’m constantly in conflict. As being a Libra (scale), according to her, I need those two extreme poles to conflict each other to make a pacific balance. Indeed, this duality is what I have suffered from, so I took seriously what she told me on the table. She told me that I’m much willingly exposed to different cultures and I’m living in those. Yes, I’ve lived moving around, but maybe it was just obvious since it was already predictable with my exotic appearance. At last, she examined my heterodox sexuality with an explorative figure, only to be confirmed by me followed with my personal stories later.
It was all fun and smooth, as a good bar table stories to expose. We talked about more later, with the common topics to display on the normal table. I don’t know how to see a personal aura behind a person; the colours and the existence of being behind the pupil. Just what I could promise to her is to attend her upcoming birthday, which is tomorrow.
I enjoyed the time talking about the inner conflicts. At the same time, I pitied myself for having constant and everlasting conflicts to try to be balanced. If it is already determined, I should somehow learn how to accept to live with these conflicts. If not, a scale loses its purpose of existence. Just this moment I remembered that most of the statues of Justice hold an empty scale with her eyes blinded; she blind-folded herself for nothing since there are nothing to measure. There should be something conflictive; a heart and a brain (human reasoning and emotions), a man and a woman (gender equality), quantitative and qualitative value, past and futuristic value, or more. An empty scale doesn’t represent its potential; it just proves its uselessness.
If there’s another person who can read my ‘carta natal’, would that person reach similar conclusion after the examination of my red triangles?