Last night I got a message from Buenos Aires.
– You left Buenos Aires without saying goodbyes!
I was asleep, then woke up at 4 in the morning. This kind of interruption almost never happens, but last night was an exception. Furthermore, I did effort to get into the message to check the content. When I checked the message, I could not help myself but deriding. I replied:
– It’s almost poetic that one wishes to spend more time with others only when he knows that they will leave soon.
My friend told me that he didn’t know that I’d leave and he’d had complicated days for his work and family. Personally I don’t take these excuses of not having time, because I know it’s not the matter of free time but the matter of priority. These excuses are just a disguise of saying that I don’t matter too much for him. But surely, I do understand that not everyone takes others as their priority, and I’m not dramatic enough to ask them to put me in their priority. Actions demonstrate decisions. So I decided not to expect much from this friendship, defending myself that it’s not me taking this matter seriously but it’s the mutual friendship that at least one party doesn’t want to nurture.
Half asleep, I thought of his words: It’s because I didn’t know you’d leave. And yes, so basically we might need an expiration date for our friendship or relationship to put an effort to make the best out of it. Maybe, the beautiful relationship is possible only when both, or at least one, know when it’d be finalised.
And I felt proud that I didn’t do my farewell when I left Buenos Aires. For my own perspective, farewell is unnecessary since we don’t know when to meet up again if meeting up again is a certainty. Farewell should be sudden event, so that not everyone can show up justifying their absence in one’s daily life. If one spends time with me frequently enough, even at the very last day he would contact me to see where I’d be heading and doing what.
It’s a love story. It’s a poem that one needs to have the last day of encounter only to realise that he needs to spend more time with other. Is heartbroken ever possible? We fall in love only when it’s to end. We already expect the end when starting the love. Then, why we pretend so much to demonstrate the heartbroken? Why do we even cry, if we all start this already calculating? Many people contacted me saying that I left suddenly that they couldn’t have chance to say goodbyes to me; They are the one who never said hello to me either. Why would they say it anyway then?
Again, one needs to know when to end the relationship only to cherish the moment he is spending with his friends and partner. We never have learnt how to cherish the very moment. Not planning a farewell, I could see more friendships with whom I spent daily life. Especially deeper ones, they have become, almost having developed as kinships. They became my family, and for the family there is no farewell either. So ironically, no farewell is needed.